Singapore
by Ensei Angel-Faye
Summary: Just see the title. A fanfiction focusing on a non-existent character, Singapore. Will be funnier after the prologue, I swear. Might branch out to other Southeast Asian countries too. Rated T for future violence.
1. Prologue

A girl playing by the shore. _Her_ shore.

She alone, the only human on the silent island. Bound by unseen chains, because she _was_ the island.

A lion that she knew flicked its tail lazily as it curled up beside her. They were the only ones on the island, watching each other grow and mature. Then suddenly, the lion growled.

Looking up, she saw something. A regal structure that glided on the salty water, towards her. Despite its unfamiliarity, she did not run, instead staying motionless while the boat approached her beach.

A person alighted. She didn't know it, but he was from Indonesia. Sri Maharaja Sang Utama Parameswara Batara Sri Tri Buana whom they knew as the prince of Indonesia. Or more commonly, Sang Nila Utama.

She didn't move, and neither did he. Then the prince took a few steps forward, and seeing no reaction from the girl, strode forward with more confidence. He reached the girl with the long black hair, who regarded him with dark brown eyes.

When he knelt down to touch her face, he smiled. And she, seeing him smile, smiled too.

Singapura. That was the name he gave her.


	2. Author Notes

Okay, sorry about not putting a kind of author's comment in the very first chapter. But it was the first chapter, and I didn't want to ruin the atmosphere by putting some lame rantings like this!

Yeah. That was based off Sang Nila Utama's arrival in Singapore. I don't know how he managed to get away with renaming Temasek to Singapura though, and who even named Singapore as Temasek.

And actually he wasn't the first person there, apparently. Records of Singapore date to the 2nd century while Sang Nila Utama only appeared in the 3rd century. Weird, huh?

Oh yeah, and the time frame will shift really randomly depending on what I'm going to do. Because the author gets to decide what happens, and I'm just evil like that. Ohohoho.

Okay, author's notes are over.

I'm signing off as Sei, a shortform derivative of Ensei.

~Sei


	3. One: Names of Singapore

~PRESENT TIME~

"Yo Sing!" America grinned as he waved hyperactively to Singapore.

Singapore gave him the "don't call me that" look as she replied what her look suggested.

"Aww! Why not?" He asked, disappointed.

"I already have enough nicknames, you ass," Singapore replied as she took a place at World Conference number 784. Because that was the number of conferences that had ended up failed, be it thanks to gatecrashing barbarians, England turning France into a toad or everyone ending up going to play at a beach party.

"Ohhh? Like what?" America questioned, curious.

Singapore sighed, before going on to tell the too-bored-for-his-own-good America.

"Well, the very first nickname is Lion City. It's one of those history-related names that Indonesia gave me. A long time ago, some Indonesian dude, I think he was a prince? He called me that because he thought my pet lion was cool. But seriously, WHO GETS NAMED AFTER THEIR PETS? Not that I mean any offence to you, Singa," she smiled as her lion looked at her with sad puppy eyes.

"He have eyesight problems didn't he!" America laughed insanely.

Singapore twitched. "Pardon?"

"Lions never lived on your minuscule island!"

* * *

><p>Singapore continued speaking while Singa mauled the screaming America.<p>

"Garden City's another nickname I have. I'm not entirely sure why I'm the one who got it though. I suppose it's because of all the trees that we have here, so many that there's all the carbon dioxide in Singapore has been absorbed by the trees. And besides, we sell orchids for really low prices here. Pretty good deal, hmm?"

She turned around to see that Nantucket was nearly bitten off. "Singa, STOP THAT." Her lion's ears drooped as it reluctantly let go off Nantucket.

Greece suddenly poofed in. "Did you know something, the name for orchid came from the Greek word meaning-"

Singapore blushed furiously as she picked up Greece and hurled him into the sky. A mob of nyan cats jumped after him like rainbow streaks.

"THE ORCHID WASN'T CHOSEN FOR THAT REASON."

* * *

><p>Calming down, Singapore resumed, "Anyway, they also call me Pulau Ujong. It's Malay for 'Island at the End'. Because I'm at the end of the Malay Peninsula."<p>

"The end of the Malay Peni-"

"Yes, the end of the Malay Peninsula, it's made up of a bit of Thailand, Burma, Malaysia and I," Singapore answered impatiently. "Got that? Okay, so on to the next one."

"Geez, this isn't a lecture!" America shouted.

"You were the one who asked for it. Oh, and there was this Indonesian dude who called me a Little Red Dot. At first it got lots of people, including me, pissed. He got retrenched within one year though," Singapore smirked.

* * *

><p>"Wasn't there one when Japan kidnapped you during World War II?" America said cheerfully, not reading the atmosphere.<p>

Singapore flinched as she remembered the wounds Japan gave her. "Syonan-To," she recalled.

"But it doesn't really mean Light of the South. Japan never really was that kind to me. It was actually Shouwa no jidai ni eta minami no shima, Southern Island obtained in the Age of Showa. It was too long, so they shortened it. It's quite a formal name, huh?"

* * *

><p>"I guess that's pretty much all," Singapore shrugged.<p>

America frowned. "But none of them suit you at all... I should give you a nickname too!"

Singapore choked, "WHAAAAT?"

"It's okay, anything the hero thinks of is good!"

Canada had to save his brother from being executed by Singapore. And that's how Singapore got herself another title:

DISNEYLAND WITH THE DEATH PENALTY.

xxx

It's true, there was an American Canadian writer who wrote a story about Singapore being a Disneyland with a Death Penalty.

This Singapore is kind of like England, isn't she? Hahaha.

Actually Singapore and America get along really well. And in Wikipedia they actually said,

'Singapore and the United States share a long-standing and strong relationship'

I LAUGHED LIKE CRAZY WHEN I SAW IT AND SHARED IT WITH ALL MY HETALIAN FRIENDS.


	4. Two: Dragon's Tooth

China smiled as he alighted from the boat. Finally, he had arrived at this little peaceful island!

Not to mention seen the cool gates they had made for his arrival. How did they know how to make such natural-looking structures that looked like the teeth of a dragon? It was absolutely perfect; some parts of it had already broken off to form jagged edges, as if the dragon was dead a long time ago. They even managed to manufacture it so that the teeth looked like it was made out of natural rock. But he, China, would not be so easily fooled to think that a natural structure could look so good. Nature's beauty lay in its imperfectness. Oh, and not to mention he felt cool sailing between the jaws.

"Singapore, I underestimated how developed your people are. 龍牙門 really is exquisite!" China marveled

Singapore answered nonchalantly,

"Oh, Dragon's Tooth Strait? Those are natural."

xxx

No, actually it was dubbed as dragon teeth because they looked kind of like the two pegs on a ship's bow which are apparently named 'dragon teeth'. Hence the cool name.

And no, China isn't so however-you-call-it. But I'm making a guess on a possible reaction.


	5. Three: Elephants

Smiling, Thailand unloaded his items for trade onto the shores, while the aghast Singapore (Pulau Ujong at that time) watched.

"What's wrong, ana?" He said cheerfully upon seeing Singapore's expression.

She looked down meekly. "Nothing."

"That's good," Thailand answered. "Now, who was it who wanted to buy my elephants again?"

* * *

><p>This section is censored to prevent you from wincing at the mass destruction the elephants caused while waiting for Mongolia to collect his elephants. God knows why Mongolia wants elephants. Maybe to assassinate China or something.<p>

* * *

><p>"Look, it's Mongolia's boat!" Thailand waved to the approaching ships.<p>

One of the boats immediately swerved and crashed into one of the Dragon's Teeth.

Mongolia jumped down from a ship the moment it touched shore. Instantaneously, an elephant squished him.

After a tussle in which Mongolia was squished by another elephant and Thailand unsuccessfully asked them to get on, Singapore finally loaded the elephants onto Mongolia's boat by throwing a bunch of bananas onto the boat. The elephants must have been pretty hungry; they all rushed onto the boat, squishing Thailand in the process, and began fighting over who had possession of the fruits.

Thailand hasn't been feeding his elephants, has he.

xxx

Mongolia did come via Dragon's Tooth Strait to collect elephants before. Somewhere in the 2nd century.

I'm not sure if it was really from Thailand though.


	6. Four: England's Worries

England was pissed. Very pissed.

"SERIOUSLY. THAT BASTARD IS TRYING TO KILL ME," he yelled in frustration, scaring the people in the next room. Due to the fact that England would prefer to call him bastard rather than by name, I can only tell you now that he was talking about Holland.

Cue loser sign from Holland.

A vein twitched and Holland found himself slowly being crushed by England. "Do you have a death wish?" England hissed.

And Holland and England almost went into war, until their respective advisors dragged them apart.

"Sire England, you must not come into conflict with Holland! Should you do so, France will be able to access you easily!" Advisor Iggy advised.

"Sire Holland, you must not come into confllict with England! Should you do so, we'll be doomed. No money," Advisor Orlando advised.

... ...

Hence England didn't strangle Holland. And Holland didn't take revenge, though they did keep staring daggers at each other.

England turned to Advisor Iggy and hissed, "Then what do you suggest I do, huh?"

With a very solemn look on his face, Advisor Iggy answered, "Kidnap Malaysia's sibling."

Cue epic WTFery silence.

Hey, this could actually work out. England realized after a while, as long as Holland hadn't already kidnapped them all.

* * *

><p>Hence England found himself seated opposite Malaysia in a wooden hut.<p>

"So I'll be taking one of your siblings then?" England asked in a tone that clearly said accept-or-I'll-kill-you.

Malaysia blinked. "Which one?"

"Which one?"

"Well, there's Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar..."

"Uh..."

"And Pulau Ubin, Pulau Hantu, Pulau-"

"I got the point," England cut in impatiently. "So which ones haven't Holland taken?"

"None."

Cue facepalm.

xxx

Too lazy continue on from here haha. /is busy play Ultimate Adventurer in MapleStory

And I'm busy drawing doujinshi too... /rages

I want to skip to page 8, but I know I shouldn't... Can't wait to draw Meteor Shower!


	7. Five: 26th SEA Games 2011

"Hey Myanmar, how many prizes didya get this year?" Indonesia asked cheerily.

IT'S THE 26TH SOUTH-EAST ASIA GAMES 2011! Basically a SEA-limited version of the Olympics.

Myanmar replied happily, "I GOT 7TH POSITION!" Incidentally, no one tell Myanmar that there're only 11 countries taking part.

Everyone, especially Indonesia, was pretty okay with what they got. Well, except maybe Singapore. And what was she so unhappy about?

In her spotlight of gloom, she was muttering something about requiring extra lessons in Fencing and et cetera. There's too many to list, but basically all the ones with no medals. But Singapore, 5th place isn't THAT bad! Plus you already HAVE extra lessons in Fencing! And how do you even find all that time to cram in tuition and enrichment classes and whatsoever?

Meanwhile, Vietnam was pissing off over how she had only 3rd place. "I WANT 2ND PLACE," she raged, glaring at a certain Thai. Said Thai continued humming cheerily and playing with Mr Elephant.

"I FINALLY HAVE A GOLD MEDAL," East Timor cried in joy.

Brunei declines to comment due to having no gold medal at all.

Okay fine, there's a lot of unhappy countries loitering around, but at least there's a super jubilant Indonesian.

Four hundred and seventy-six medals for Indonesia. Hurray!

"Uh, I think we should calm Singapore down or something..." Malaysia glanced over at the younger nation who was currently emo-ing and using a penknife to shred up a random bunch of papers that appeared out of nowhere. Oh, and calling a world-famous instructor to help train her. Wait, how does she even have enough hands to call AND shred?

All the countries looked over. Singapore didn't even notice that she was cutting herself rather than the paper by now.

Philippines took away the penknife as Vietnam tried to calm her down. Girls understand girls best, right?

"Come on Singapore, at least you did not THAT bad in Swimming," Vietnam reasoned.

"You won 2 out of 4 of the gold medals for Open Water Swimming..."

"Oh. Er." Awkward silence. "What about Diving, I'm sure you got something there!"

"Not even a placing."

More awkward silence. Singapore's starting to be a bit annoying.

"But... Don't you have this person named Tao Li? Who's really good at Butterfly swimming and Freestyle swimming or something?"

"She is, but it was only because China thought she was too short to join the team, so she came to me instead..." That was one of the stupidest things China ever did, did he. It's so stupid that it's becoming hilarious.

Vietnam twitched. "Well, I think China is a downright mean person and he should..." She went into a rant about all the evil things she would do to China when she laid her hands on him. Well done Vietnam, but isn't that kind of off the topic?

"..." Malaysia thought for a while. Then poof! Brainwave! "Would you like to go find Taiwan and get BUBBLE TEA? Or Korea and SUJU and DBSK and SHINee and whatever? Or Japan to get ANIME and MANGA!"

Singapore suddenly snapped out of emo mode. "YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSS," she screamed and leaped up while dragging poor Malaysia behind her.

EXTRA:

Laos and Cambodia remained standing where they were. "Do you get this feeling we're being kind of ignored?" Laos asked Cambodia.

"Blame the stupid author who forgot us," replied Cambodia.

xxx

By the way, congratulations to Indonesia for winning... /says reluctantly/ But yeah, I guess they deserved it. Also congratulations to Thailand and Vietnam. NEVER MIND SINGAPORE IS SMALL NOT OUR FAULT NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE. AS IF.

Seriously! I swear that 90% of people in Singapore have to learn an instrument, and 95% has at least one enrichment class or something along those lines. And usually it's Chinese (unless you're not Chinese, of course) that people have tuition for. I'm not sure how many people wouldn't notice themselves being cut up, but hey, time to go dramatic.

My parents said that Malaysia is always a step behind Singapore's trends (no offence at all, kay) so now they're on the Japanese craze while Singapore is on the Korean craze. Korea's taking over Singapore, daze! But since Malaysia and Singapore are reaaaally close (Google Maps says they're only about 510km apart) and you can come over nearly any time, Malaysia probably knows best.

And yes, I'm sorry about Laos and Cambodia, but I didn't even know they existed for a really long time and the only thing I know is that Laos has this Xayaburi Dam thing on the Mekong River. And everyone else except maybe Thailand's angry about it.

HEH DID YOU NOTICE THAT NONE OF THEM EXCEPT SINGAPORE AND VIETNAM AND THAILAND HAD A GENDER. It's up to you to visualize! And that's why I didn't describe how Singapore looks either, or any of the others.


End file.
